fish8me.com

Is it possible to miss something you never had?
“no. you miss the hope. solider on.”

“is she worth it?”
yes and no. Yes she is undeniably worth it. No she’s not worth it if she doesn’t reciprocate.

going to hawaii changed nothing at all?
nothing. other than remind me of places i wish i could show her.

It is a splinter in your mind, but is it her, or the idea of her. an idea so perfect but distant, that she could not possibly live up to such a mantle, no matter how hard your skewed view imposes it upon her from afar.

all the boxes appear to be ticked, except the most important one - requite.

This crappy feeling. is it love? or the stabbing shards of a shattered ego? or perhaps something else. infatuation without substance maybe?

As they say:
The only one who can untie the knot is the one who tied it.

whatever it is, its a familiar feeling to you by now, isn’t it?
absolutely.

i suspect on some maybe even sub conscious level, you paint yourself into these situations on purpose, committing yourself fully, “Sincerely”, whole heartedly, only when you know full well things will not work out and rejection is imminent.

i know you can sense what the answer will be before you ask the question. and only when you sense rejection is going to happen do you push forward - determined, resolute, “courageously”. Sincere.
like a stupid asshole.

because you cannot seem to deal with any other outcome. “if she doesn’t like me, she MUST be better than me. and vice versa. no?” damn your fucking intimacy issues.

how many times has this EXACT thing happened before? once? twice? seven times? are you incapable of learning form mistakes? or just stupid. that wasn’t a question.

her relationship vis a vi any other guy is irrelevant, no matter who he is.
this is between you and her, for even assuming there was no one else, that doesn’t necessarily mean she would choose you anyway.

Where is all that high handed advice you seem so fond of giving others? Where is it now?

you lost.
yet again.
deal with it. a measure of a man is how he acts not when things are going swimmingly, but when the chips are stacked against him. didn’t rocky say its not how hard you hit, but how many times you can get hit and still stand up.

you deserve to have your ass kicked. you disgust me. all this bravado and talk, and in the end you are no different than you were 3 years ago. weak. loser. and even worse - stupid.

you don’t deserve anyone better if you can’t conduct yourself with more self respect than this.